How to Be More Confident: 3 Things to Keep in Mind if You’re Struggling With Self-Doubt

Growing up, I was the super shy and quiet kid who didn’t have many friends. For as long as I can remember, I struggled with feelings of anxiety and a major lack of self-confidence. But that all began to change in my early 20’s.

After hitting a personal rock bottom and going through a severe depression, I suddenly became very serious about my personal growth and began to seek for knowledge that could help me. It’s been about 7 years since that journey began, and here’s what I can tell you has helped me the most in overcoming my fears and leading a more peaceful and prosperous life…

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1. Expand Your Field of Possibilities

In my experience, low self-confidence was the result of several factors, one of which was the inability to see my true potential and what I could become

Because I could not see in my own mind what was truly possible for me, I did not feel confident in moving forward. Everything felt far too uncertain…

This feeling of uncertainty brought fear, which stopped me from taking constructive action, which kept me stuck in the same old circumstances in life…

It was very hard to see a way out, especially when everyone around me was living basically the same kind of life…

But there’s one thing that changed everything for me…


I began to search for people who were once in a similar position as me but managed to overcome it and go on to live amazing lives. Stefan Pylarinos was one of those people. He was once a very shy and insecure person like me, yet he managed to overcome those challenges and is now a very fulfilled person (and happens to be a multi-millionaire as well).

Don’t try to reinvent the wheel

Learning from others who had overcome great adversity sparked something within me. It gave me hope and helped me see that there were FAR greater possibilities for me than what I had been believing. Once this seed was planted, my life began to change very quickly.

The feelings of self-doubt started to disappear, because whereas before I was uncertain about my potential, now I was certain. I knew that if all these other people I was learning from could overcome so much, then I could too.

I have since made it a deeply engrained habit to constantly learn from other people who have achieved great things in life, whether it be with their health, finances, or spirituality. This has helped me consistently make progress in all areas of my life.

take the shortcut to success

Instead of trying to learn everything on my own through trial and error, I now dramatically shortcut the process by simply learning from others who have already mastered that particular area.

A very practical way to instill this powerful habit is to simply start reading one non-fiction book every single week (or at least one a month). I have done this for over 7 straight years, and it has literally turned me into a completely new person. I would definitely not be where I am if it wasn’t for this one habit.

2. Stop the Comparison Game

Another reason I felt so insecure in my younger years is because I was constantly comparing myself to others to see how I measured up. Usually, I would find something in others that I myself lacked, which just made me feel worse about myself.

Even when I found a reason to feel superior to others, it was still a false sense of pride that stemmed from my insecurities and made me feel worse in the end.

I eventually realized that as long as I saw myself as either higher or lower than others, I would forever be trapped in the comparison game and my insecurities would never leave me.

What helped me break free from this trap was to start seeing the equality of all people and how we all have essentially the same potential.

No one is truly better or worse than anyone else. Some people have simply managed to activate certain qualities and characteristics within themselves that help them prosper in their life.

Harness the Power of Your Mind & Spirit

Thing like courage, gratitude, compassion, hope, forgiveness, and resilience. These are qualities of the human spirit you might say. Their power lives within each and every one of us. It is just our responsibility to activate them.

Successful people don’t have anything that you don’t. Look beyond the surface level. See what really made them successful. It wasn’t their specialness. It was their ability to activate the qualities of the human spirit.

We each have that power. We are not victims. We are conscious creators.

3. BE. Don’t Strive to Be. Just Be.

For many years, I was in the habit of seeking self-improvement. It wasn’t such a bad thing, but it did lead to a dead-end eventually…

One day I suddenly realized that if I was seeking something, it meant that I was assuming that I didn’t have it already. If I was seeking to be more confident, it meant I was assuming that I didn’t have access to a feeling of confidence right NOW.

This is the trap we all encounter when we begin improving ourselves. We come from this insecure place of not feeling “good enough” and even our honest striving for betterment is rooted in false beliefs about ourselves…

When we assume our happiness is somewhere in the future, we create our own unhappiness in the present moment. This is why I like the term “self-realization” a lot better than “self-improvement.”

This whole journey is not really about improvement. It is about discovery. It is about uncovering the layers of false beliefs and limiting emotions that prevent us from realizing how powerful we already are, right here, right now.

When you stop seeking for something outside of you or in the distant future, you discover that the feelings of lack and limitation are the very result of your seeking. The end of seeking leads to BEING. Instead of seeking for confidence and success, you just BECOME it.

You might enjoy: “How to Still Your Mind in 4 Easy Steps

Succeed By Choice, Not Need

This doesn’t mean you stop taking action or achieving your goals. In fact, it means you have a MUCH easier time achieving them because you’re now pursuing them with a feeling of love, wholeness, and contentment rather than fear, self-doubt, and uncertainty.

These are the 3 insights that helped me more than anything in my quest to become more confident. I hope you got some value from this.

If you signup for my free Bliss By Design training below, I’ll help you see more clearly how letting go of your desires and your seeking can help you achieve your biggest goals in life with MUCH greater ease.

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Thank you for reading.

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