How to Love Yourself: 5 Powerful Pieces of Wisdom to Help You Quickly Find More Confidence, Contentment, & Peace of Mind

You may have heard the advice before, “You just have to love yourself.” While it’s generally good advice, there are some common traps we can fall into when trying to change our lives from the inside out. “Loving yourself” is not always as easy as it sounds, and I’ll explain exactly why in today’s episode…

Click play to listen to the full 37-minute podcast episode, or scroll down if you’d rather read a condensed and summarized version of the information:

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How to Love Yourself (Article & Podcast)

In today’s article and podcast, I’m going to share my own experience with successfully overcoming a whole lot of self-hate, shame, guilt, depression, and low self-esteem.

These things plagued me for years, but fortunately I was able to discover some things that helped me overcome at least 95% of this useless baggage…

Today you’ll learn about the 5 biggest realizations I’ve had on my journey to greater self-love, confidence and peace of mind, and how you can have these same realizations for a more rapid transformation…

If you don’t want to listen to the podcast above, there is a more condensed written version below for your convenience…

1. Know That Love is Not An “Effort”

“Love Yourself” sounds like something you have to “do” and put effort into. “Love” is a verb in this sentence. But what if we changed it slightly to something more like…

“Love = Your Self”

Here “Love” is a noun, synonymous with your “Self” – a totally different way of looking at it. Let’s dive a little deeper…

From my experience, love is not something that requires effort. What requires effort is the letting go of non-love. That requires our willingness and cooperation…

How to Love Yourself Quote Image 1

Love is like the Sun, always shining, but sometimes hidden by clouds or blocked by the earth. We can’t force the sun to shine. There’s no need because it’s already shining. We only need to remove the clouds of non-love. Then, love shines forth…

The clouds that hide Love from our view are all the judgments we have towards ourselves and others. All the self-hatred, the jealousy, resentment, neediness, guilt, shame, anger, fear, pride…

So how do we truly love ourselves?

By the willingness to consistently let go of the non-loving thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and feelings…

It’s not a matter of “can you let them go?” It’s only, “will you?”

Are you willing to stop judging yourself?

What about just for 10 seconds? Can you let go of all self-judgment and just relax and be content?…

Anyone can do so for 10 seconds, but the mind will come back in soon enough to do what it is programmed to do…

This is the key understanding that began to free me from the emotional suffering I used to deal with on a daily basis. The understanding was that we are all creatures of habit. All the negative thoughts and emotions going through my mind were just that: habits…

If you want to change your life, you have to change your habits of thinking. There’s really no way around it in my opinion.

That’s why I created my Bliss By Design training series and a complete 100-day mental training program. You can learn more at PerfectlyatPeace.com/Bliss

To summarize this first point:

2. Know That Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors Are Not “You”

We are all creatures of habit, but our habits are not “who we are.”

This took me a long time to realize. I used to take myself very seriously. If I made a mistake or failed at something, I would mentally and emotionally punish myself. Then I would beat myself up even more for feeling so depressed…

I unconsciously identified with my thoughts, feelings, and actions. If they were not all “positive” and “perfect” in my mind, I would take it personally. Every mistake was a shot to my self-worth…

But through the study of many spiritual teachings, I realized that thoughts, feelings, and actions are basically impersonal. They are just habitual responses that come from our mental and emotional conditioning

But if our thoughts, feelings, and actions are not who we are, then “who are we really?”

Love Yourself Quote 2

This is often overlooked, but it’s extremely obvious when you ponder it for a while…

YOU are the WITNESS of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You are the one who is AWARE of them, but you are not them…

Like sound needs a backdrop of silence to be heard, thoughts, feelings, and actions need a silent, peaceful witness to be noticed. Without the silent place of “awareness” within you, there would be no thoughts, feelings, or actions to be seen…

When you identify with this silent place of awareness instead of the chaos of the mind, you find peace.

At the same time, this gives you the ability to control and dictate your own thoughts, feelings, and actions rather than being run by the programmed, conditioned habits of mind and body.

To summarize this point:

3. Know the Difference Between “Dense” and “Transcendental” Thoughts

In my several years of trying to overcome my own anxiety, stress, depression and other negative feelings, I discovered that very happy and confident people have a very different way of thinking than people that are not so happy or confident…

I recently coined the terms: “Dense” and “Transcendental” thoughts…

“Dense” thoughts are like thick clouds. They hide the sun, so very little joy, happiness, and peace can shine through. Most people’s minds are made up of primarily “dense” thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives…

On the other hand, “Transcendental” thoughts and perspectives are like very light and thin clouds. They allow much more light through, so a person who has a mind programmed with these kinds of thoughts will feel much more joy, confidence, and contentment in their lives…

Dense thoughts create emotional pressure…

Transcendental thoughts release that pressure…

In short, you must learn how to program your mind with primarily “Transcendental” thoughts and perspectives in order to override and evaporate the “dense” thoughts and perspectives. When you do this successfully, inner peace and self-love becomes a natural, effortless way of being.

You can learn more about exactly how to do this in my Bliss By Design training:

Exclusive Free Training:

Train Your Mind for Unshakeable Confidence & Inner Calm Using the Power of the Rapid Ascension Mind Training Method...

Brought to you by Beau Norton, founder of PerfectlyatPeace.com

  • Rapidly dissolve feelings of self-doubt, stress, anxiety, and other mental & emotional blocks to a more peaceful and prosperous life.
  • Free community of like-minded people for ongoing support, guidance, and Q&A.
  • Get free access by clicking the button below.

Brought to you by Beau Norton, founder of PerfectlyatPeace.com

4. Know When Your Thinking is Based On “Reality” vs. “Unreality”

Essentially, the difference between a stressed mind and a mind at peace is how much of that mind is focused on “reality” vs. how much of it is focused on “unreality.”

What do I mean by that?

Everything you feel stressed about in your life always relates to “unreality”…

Meaning it’s always about something that is NOT right here and right now. It’s about the past, the future, or something you believe is lacking in the present.

Can’t pay your rent and that stresses you out? You’re focusing on the lack of money, on what is NOT here and now, rather than focusing on the many potential ways you could easily make more money and solve your financial problems forever.

Didn’t get the love you wanted from your partner? Again, you’re focusing on what you feel you don’t have, which is ultimately “unreal” because it doesn’t exist here and now. The thing you want is imaginary, a desire of the mind, but since you didn’t get it, you feel upset…

What if you simply let go of all the “wanting” for things in the future? Does that mean you won’t get those things?…

HowtoLoveYourselfQuote3

Not at all. You’ll not only find peace of mind in the here and now, you’ll also become far more confident, inspired, and capable of moving forward towards your biggest goals and dreams because the stress and internal resistance is gone.

Feeling regret about the past or worry about the future are the most common ways we focus on “unreality” and hold ourselves back in life…

Focusing on reality, the present moment, is the only way we will find any degree of peace in our lives.

Self-Love and peace of mind comes from appreciating what you DO have here and now rather than on what you feel is missing. Focus on what IS rather than on what is NOT…

Take a moment to think about some of the blessings in your life:

You have the miracle of life itself. The opportunity to learn, grow, change and evolve. The opportunity to appreciate what is in front of you. The gift of this single breath. The blessing of being able to recognize these blessings that so few ever do…

5. Focus On Serving Others and Watch Most Of Your Problems Dissolve

I’ve tried many things to overcome my feelings of lack, fear, and insecurity. I literally read over 500 self-help books to try to solve my problems. But you know what has helped me more than anything else?

Serving others…

So many of our problems are self-created by our constant focus on them. We give them energy and keep them alive. But if you just stop thinking about your problems and start helping others overcome their problems instead, you’ll find that your problems solve themselves…

Loving Yourself Quote4

Selfishness is the root of all suffering. It’s the animal inside of us that wants so many things and is frustrated when it doesn’t get them. It is very normal in this world, but it’s not the only way to be…

I think it’s fine to have a few selfish desires, but I’ve found that the most joy comes from being valuable to others. To share with someone and see them overcome their troubles is the greatest gift this world could give me…

I found that by loving others, I automatically love myself, because “I” am “love” itself! When you are giving love, you are “being” love. You become the energy of love, and then there is no “effort” to love yourself because the feeling is already present.

It’s not about loving either “yourself” or “others.” True Love knows no separation. When you are being the energy of love, there is love for ALL things.

When you dedicate your life to simply being as loving and kind as you can possibly be towards all people and things, including yourself, the obstacles eventually fall away and a great joy wells up from within. You are freeing yourself. You are discovering the Truth about you, which is so much more than you could ever imagine…

My hope is that you will soon know yourself to BE Love Itself…

Please share this article if you found it helpful. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Beau

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1 thought on “How to Love Yourself: 5 Powerful Pieces of Wisdom to Help You Quickly Find More Confidence, Contentment, & Peace of Mind”

  1. Dear Beau, this is a great message. Thank you it’s well explained and I agree that Love= Self. ❤️❤️❤️

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