At about 19 years of age, I entered into the darkest period of my entire life. I saw the depths of suffering and I contemplated suicide many times. I was familiar with anxiety and depression, as I had experienced a lot of it growing up, but this time it was a much deeper pain. I had no idea what to do, so I gave up…
There is a whole lot of bad advice floating around out there about how to overcome our problems as humans. Almost everyone will tell you, “never give up” or “just keep moving forward” or “it’s just life, deal with it.” This is akin to driving with the brakes on. Life is telling us to STOP or at least SLOW DOWN, yet we are brainwashed to believe that we must keep going, and so we grind ourselves down until we can’t take any more. The wise ones eventually give up, and that is exactly why they succeed…
What exactly do I mean by “give up”? Wha I mean is to stop doing what does not work. If you are struggling in your life right now, obviously much of what you are doing is NOT WORKING! So, why do you keep on doing it? Why are you still complaining and thinking negatively? Why are you still at the job you hate? Why are you still watching 4 hours of television every night? Why are you eating fast food multiple times a week? Why are you doing things you KNOW are not helping you in any way? I will tell you why…
You are doing these things for one simple reason: You do not love yourself completely.
You see, if you loved yourself, you would fill your mind, body, and soul with only the very BEST fuel. Would you put low-grade fuel in a brand new Ferrari sports car? No! If you owned a Ferrari, I’m sure you would love that car. Putting low-grade fuel in it would ruin it, so you would never even consider doing that. So, why do you allow low-grade thoughts to dominate your mind? Why do you allow low-grade habits to dominate your life? Why do you allow low-grade food into your body?
It is really so simple. Self-love is the solution to ALL your problems. I’m not saying that is easy to love yourself fully and unconditionally. No, it is certainly not easy when we have lived most of our lives doing the exact opposite, but through some simple practices we can begin to turn our lives around into a purely positive direction.
We can, by taking baby steps in the direction of self-love, make self-love a habitual way of being. When self-love eventually becomes an automatic habit of ours, we will know what it’s like to live an effortless life.
Most people feel as if they are always moving against the grain. We face so much resistance, whether in the form of limiting beliefs, negative emotions, or bad habits. These dominate our life and make everything seem difficult. It’s sometimes hard to believe that there is such a thing as an easy life, but let me tell you from experience, it is possible to live a joyous life with no pain or suffering, no matter how low you might be at this very moment.
In this guide, I will attempt to give you the very basics of what you need to know in order to begin building positive momentum in your life on the path to unconditional self-love, happiness, and all the success you could ever desire.
Essential Insight #1
The past is gone. You can’t change it, therefore you are not responsible for it anymore. What you are responsible for is the consequences of your past as they exist in this very moment.
For example, maybe you have had some bad eating habits for many years and now you are 100 pounds overweight. To make yourself responsible for all those past decisions would be to lay on yourself a massive amount of guilt and shame. This is not self-love, so don’t bother. The guilt and shame will only make you seek more comfort foods to bury your pain. Instead, what you can do is erase the past from your mind and only deal with the current situation as it is.
Just pretend that you were born again, but you were born 100 pounds overweight. Well, now there is no past to feel ashamed about. There is no story anymore to justify or explain why you are the way you are. You don’t need the story. It only reinforces an illusion, the illusion that you are a victim of what happened to you in the past. Now that the past is erased, there is only the present and the future to deal with. Now you have nothing holding you back. Now all you can see are unlimited possibilities for what you could become.
It is helpful to pretend that you have no past. The past is dead and gone and only serves as a learning tool, but for most of us, we are using the past as an excuse to stay the same. The past is not really serving us much at all. We’d be better off to ditch it completely.
We can learn as we go. A mistake or unfortunate happening need not be dwelled upon for more than a moment for its resolution to be realized. There is really no reason at all to hold onto the past, yet look at how many of us are obsessed with the story of our lives. Does our past make us special? Does it make us justified in hating ourselves or others? It’s just a story! Might I dare say that it means nothing at all. It’s a fairy tale. It only exists in memory, not in Reality!
If you continue living with the story of your past, you are going to continue repeating the past over and over again. Do you want that? I doubt it. I bet you want a future that is bright and filled with unlimited possibilities. I bet you want to experience real freedom. I bet you are tired of limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and bad habits. If you want to be free from these burdens, then you absolutely must let go of the past and be born again…
Essential Insight #2
Do not wait to be who you want to be, because the future never comes. Those who wait are those who go to the grave with their hopes and dreams still inside them. Those who wait do so miserably, because they are denying the very gift that God gave them to bring into the world. How can it feel good to have a gift but to never let anyone see it? Of course you are miserable! You are waiting for nothing!
You want happiness? You can have it, not later, but only now. Waiting for happiness is like sitting in front of the sink waiting for a drink but never turning on the faucet. The happiest people on this planet are not those who wait for a handout but those who ACT on their deepest desires and create the reality of their choosing, not because they need a certain outcome, but simply because they are happiest when they are honestly expressing themselves.
Why don’t you take action towards your manifesting your deepest desires? Because you don’t love yourself unconditionally. Do you need to wait to love yourself? No, you only need to take the actions you would take if you already loved yourself, and through the action you will thus give yourself the love you crave.
Love is actually your natural state, so you don’t need someone else to give it to you. It is just a dormant state within you because you are not giving that love an avenue of expression. To feel the love, you must begin to move in the direction of your dreams. Love doesn’t come from outside. It is generated from the inside when you are expressing yourself truly and honestly, or in other words, when you are not living the life you are expected to live but rather the life that you would choose to live if you knew you could not fail…
Reading this right now is an act of self-love. No one who doesn’t love themselves at least a little bit would read something like this. People who have no self-love whatsoever are people who blame everyone else for their problems and never take responsibility for solving their own. So, you can rest assured that you are on the right path.
I am only reminding you of what you already know. Sometimes we just need someone else to give us the green light, to give us permission and let us know that it is indeed okay, more than okay, to follow our heart and forget about what anyone else has to say about it. There is no one holding you back but yourself. When you realize that, you are one step closer to freedom. And when you realize that the present moment is all that actually exists and that you can choose exactly how you want to think, feel, and behave in this very moment, you become powerful beyond measure…
Essential Insight #3
I see so many people struggling through life like it’s an uphill battle. It makes me cringe, but I understand exactly why people behave this way. It’s mainly due to a commonly held belief system that says actions are the “causes” of events. People believe they can just take certain action steps and then get a certain result, but it’s really not that simple. If it was, most people would be living the life they truly desire to live.
The truth is, most people are quite unhappy and literally cannot manage to take productive action steps in the first place. Even if they do, there is so much inner resistance that their results will be mediocre at best.
Why is it so difficult for so many people to do what they know they need to do?
We must go a little further back. Where do actions come from?
Actions stem from certain attitudes and feelings. Someone who is angry will take much different actions and/or put off a totally different energy than someone who is happy. Mr. Angry and Mr. Happy might take the same exact action step but do it in a much different way and therefore get a totally different result.
Actions do not directly “cause” anything to happen. ATTITUDE is the cause of everything in your life. Yes, you must take certain actions to get where you want to go, but if those actions are not stemming from a place of positivity, love, and kindness, then you are not going to be happy with your results.
And now we are back to the importance of self-love. If you do not love and respect yourself, it is unlikely that you will focus on creating good habits of action. Those who secretly hate themselves usually sabotage themselves over and over again. They may start to make some changes, but it’s 4 steps forward and then 5 steps back.
This is a common pattern in most people’s lives. They have good intentions, but they can’t seem to figure out why things never work out the way they want them to. Unfortunately, these are the same people who eventually give up and then start blaming the world for their problems. The ones who finally figure it out are the ones who keep going and (hopefully sooner rather than later) realize the incredible importance of having a positive attitude and loving thoughts towards oneself.
What I would like to suggest is that you stop thinking in terms of what specific things you need to “do” and start thinking more of the type of person you need to “become.” When you think in terms of action steps, you are focusing your attention outward, and nothing in the external world can ever really bring you the lasting happiness you desire. When you focus instead on your own attitude towards yourself and the world, you are focusing your attention inward, and this is what will allow you to cultivate an inner state of happiness that is not dependent on external circumstances.
When you focus first on your attitude, you not only find happiness, you also make it a whole lot easier to create positive changes in your external world. With a positive attitude, you are no longer driving with the brakes on and trying to take positive action steps when you still have negative thoughts. This time you will be coasting through life with ease. Your positive attitude will cause you to naturally take positive action steps that in turn lead to desirable results in all areas of your life.
Being -> Doing -> Having
Many people want to have but don’t want to do. Some people are willing to do what they need to do in order to have what they want, but these people still do not know true happiness. If you want happiness AND worldly success, then you must focus first on your “being.” Are you being a good person, a positive person, someone who is worthy of success? If so, you have nothing to worry about, because being a positive person is all that is necessary for you to begin doing the things that will effortlessly lead you to having everything you could ever desire!
“How” to love myself?
I know as people read this guide, they will be thinking something like, “you say to love yourself and it sounds great, but HOW exactly do I do that?”
To conclude this guide, I am going to provide a list of actionable steps that you can start taking TODAY to express greater love for yourself and cultivate an extremely positive attitude. Like anything, this will take some practice. If hating yourself has been a lifetime habit, then loving yourself unconditionally is not necessarily going to be “easy,” however, it is very possible to make this change in a relatively short amount of time if you just take the following suggestions seriously and start applying them.
#1. for subconscious programming at least once per day for the next 90 days. These are the same audios I used to overcome severe anxiety and depression in just a few short months.
#2. Write on a notecard “I love and accept myself as I am” and carry it in your pocket or purse everywhere you go. It sounds simple but it’s extremely effective because it will ensure that this positive thought is on your mind very often. Whenever you reach in your pocket or purse, you’ll remember the statement. These little reminders gradually shift your mindset in a more positive direction. The results won’t be immediately noticeable, but over time these little things really add up into significant life improvements. Do it and watch the magic begin to happen.
#3. Read something inspiring or educational on a daily basis. It is so incredibly important that we program our mind with positivity on a daily basis. Most likely, your mind has been bombarded with negativity for many years. If you watch television, violent movies, play video games, or spend time with people who complain or gossip, then you are being negatively programmed constantly. The only way to reverse this programming is to reduce the negative inputs as much as possible and increase the positive inputs. Reading books or listening to audio books is one of the best methods for increasing the positive inputs.
#4. Exercise and make healthier choices. This is an act of self-love. It may not be fun in the very beginning, but you will begin to love it when you recognize how much better it makes you feel. Your self-love will increase as you start treating yourself better. At first you may do it begrudgingly, not out of a place of love at all, but soon it will become a genuine act of self-love and care if you just get through the uncomfortable phase.
#5. Spend quality time with yourself every day. Just like you would take your man or woman out on a date to the movies, to a nice dinner, or on some kind of adventure, why not do the same for only yourself? Or perhaps it could be something as simple as taking time to be alone with your thoughts and really LISTEN to yourself, just as you would listen to your loved ones whom you care for deeply.
There is nothing wrong at all with enjoying these things by yourself. When is the last time you treated yourself like you would treat the people in your life whom you love the most? Do you not deserve that love and affection also? Then why not give it to yourself?
Then you don’t have to feel bad if someone else doesn’t give you the love you crave. You can become your own best friend. It might sound weird to some people, but when you truly love yourself, you do in fact become your own best friend. You can go places by yourself and feel perfectly comfortable. You “need” no one and nothing at all because you already feel complete within yourself. That is Love!
Love is complete. Love is whole. Love needs no other. It is at the core of who you are. I encourage you to find it, because it is truly wonderful!
Could I make it any more simple for you? Please don’t overlook the incredible importance of everything I have suggested in this short guide. It may be simple but it is all incredibly powerful and effective when put into practice. Try it and you will soon see that I’m telling you the absolute truth!
I’ve already given you more than you need to know. Take what you have learned today and go make your life a masterpiece!
Take care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit. You are worth it.